Pearls of Wisdom

I love Dave Barry.
This is a list of 14 things that took him 50 years to learn.
Hysterical.

~m

• Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

• If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”

• There is a very fine line between hobby and “mental illness.”

• People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

• You should not confuse your career with your life.

• Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

• Never lick a steak knife.

• The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

• You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

• You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

• There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

• The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

• A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

• Your friends love you anyway.

ps.
thanks to all you folks that have checked out “Cats that look like Hitler”
You’re making my blog stats go crazy! I love that!