Farewell

I’ve had a lovely time here over the past few years.
The people that have come into my life because of blogging have made me laugh and cry; they’ve inspired me to continue this crazy and wonderfully mysterious craft called writing.
Tonight, I’m here to say goodbye to this old URL.
So many memories, so many posts.
I mentioned something wonderful and I promise not to let you down.
Change your URL immediately to my new home in the blogosphere.
Please stop by tonight and leave a comment or two, the only housewarming present that I truly want.
I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart for making this place as magical as I always wanted it to be.
The best is yet to come.
I promise . . .

~michaelm

ps. if you couldn’t see the link, please visit http://badsneaker.net

Not drowning, waving

Wanted to check in and just let you know I’m alive and well.
I thank all of you for continuing to visit.
I’m trying hard to make my way around the bloghorn but somedays are just hell.
Once things settle down a bit, I will be back.
I have so much writing in my journal just screaming to be posted but . . .
Be safe and be well, folks.
See all of you in a bit.

~m

Juggling

Currently in the midst of a juggling act between work and writing.
Posts may be a bit scarce over the next few weeks but then again who knows?
I’m keeping the details close to the vest for now as far as why I’m busy.
Know that it’s all good.
I’ll continue visiting my favorite blogs but posting will be less.
Don’t be upset.
btw . . .
Got a very nice linkback tonight.
Thanks, DF, much appreciated.
If a post of mine can make someone write one, how cool is that?

All for now folks.
The writer in me has now left the building . . . kinda like Elvis.
For now . . . uh-huh . . .

~m

the Boy

Guinness, my male Bengal, has told me no more posts until I visit some people on my blogroll.
He says I should be more of a giver.
That’s the way he rolls, I guess. (right now he wants me to give him a treat)
Yeah, he is one hep cat.
Have a serene weekend, folks.
See all of you on Monday.
Got a good one on the backburner.
Stop back.

~m

Grimm’s Emergency Medical Kit

I’ve decided to turn the Smoke and Mirrors reins over to a recently discovered blogger named Grimm. I found Grimm’s blog at Blogexplosion and really liked what I saw, a Godwink to be sure.
Read this post and you’ll know what I mean.
He’s honest, funny and intelligent but not a Patriots fan.
Can’t win ‘em all, right?
I asked him to write a post for me months ago (he thought I was kidding).
When he realized I wasn’t he leaned into the strike zone and took one for the team.
Personally, I think he hit this one out of the park.
Without further ado, I hand it over to the ever imaginative and talented Grimm.
(aka, “The Doctor of Love”)
Thanks, buddy. Good stuff.
~m

The Emergency Medical Kit

The Emergency Medical Kit was a Christmas present for my wife years ago when our little girl was just a newborn. Money was very scarce and everything we had went to making our daughters first Christmas something memorable, so an expensive present was out of the question – but I still wanted her to have something special to know how much I cared.

While sitting around wondering what the hell I was going to do, I became fixated on my wife’s prenatal vitamins. From there I wondered what kind of vitamins I could give her that would be fun and interesting. Thankfully, the vitamins became candy, and the vitamin bottle became a set of children’s plastic cups with a straw opening on the lid.

I made the medicines out of discussions we have had over the course of our marriage about what we liked most about each other and things we would like to do together. The names were the fun part, as I was able to call on my Sniglets expertise to try and create something that my warped sense of humor thought was funny.

After making the cups of candy “official” by placing the label on each of them, I decorated a shoe box into a poor mans First Aid Kid and wrapped the whole thing up in wrapping paper. It took awhile for the wife to realize just what the gift was or meant, but needless to say, the woman started popping “pills” and I became a pretty busy man for the next week or two.

1. ARGUCESE 30mg

Take 1 tablet to end argument. Best used with a kiss and a hug.

This was a popular one with the wife for the simple reason that I could not have the last word. No matter how right I thought I was (which wasn’t very often), all she would have to do is whip out one of these to end the discussion. I used Starburst here as they are big enough to use up quickly if you have an argumentative other half.

2. FUZZITIN 75mg

Take 1 tablet to get that warm fuzzy feeling that comes from a big hug.

Simple yet effective, there just are not a lot of things in this world that can do so much like a big hug. These can be taken at any time and continuously to get the desired effect. If the hugger is good at this task, these could lead to further medication, such as BISCRUBIDOL. I used Gummy Bears for this and seemed to constantly have my arms around the wife. This is not a bad thing.

3. FULMONTISOL 2500mg

Take 1 tablet to receive a complete strip tease show performed by your man.

Taken directly from the movie “The Full Monty”, this may very well be the performance of your life. The only requirements for this medication are that she must provide the background music for your performance and there is to be no video equipment allowed. I personally tried to cram one of those giant Chewy Sweet Tarts into that little cup – I considered that my cyanide pill.

4. SWETLUVODIN 750mg

Take 1 tablet for an evening of passionate lovemaking with your mattress monkey.

A powerful drug, this bad boy usually is taken as a result of other medication like BISCRUBIDOL, RUBADINE, and if you really good, FUZZITIN. I loaded up on these, packing it full of the smallest “candy” I could find – in this case, Tic-Tacs. Hey, you didn’t think I got that nickname “mattress monkey” for my smell did you?

5. RUBADUBIUM 100mg

Take 1 tablet to receive a prepared candlelight bubble bath complete with manservant.

Want to earn some serious brownie points? Let her pop one of these puppies into her mouth and then show her your sensual side. Also works well with fluffy towels and a bottle of bubbly. A word of caution, DO NOT use those imitation electric candles around the bathtub or the both of you will need much more serious medication. To show my more animalistic side, I used Runts here to get her prepared for her bath. Continue reading

Three Little Pigs

I felt a need to lighten things up a bit here with something not so downtrodden.
I’m a huge fan of Christopher Walken and saw this video on Rain’s blog.
I just had to share it with you folks.

While I’m at it I’d like to offer all bloggers this very important card:

Yes, folks, it’s the Blogger Emergency ID card.
Print it out and use it.
It may come in handy someday all depending on your actual date of departure from parts unknown.
Kudos to the ingenious Moonbeam, a brilliant blogger (and a woman that has already printed out numerous copies of this ID card for her immediate family, butcher, baker and candlestick maker)

Have a bitchin’ weekend, folks.
Here in the Northeast we’re preparing for a deluge of Noah’s Ark proportions . . .
Now where the hell are the 4m Salties?

later gators,

~m

Still on Walkabout

I feel like a bad contestant on American Idol; I got nothing fresh to bring to the table.
My mind is so far away from the blog lately and I do apologize.
There’s some creative stuff swimming around my head but too many damn obstacles in the way.
I plan on getting out the heavy machinery to remove at least some of the cerebral gunk that’s currently clogging my blogging jones.
Have no fear, the psychobabble will be eradicated.
Soon.

I did want to mention a somewhat surprising award I received “From the Back Nine”.
My blog was labeled “excellent” by Linda, a relatively new reader and wonderful addition to my blogroll.

Supposedly, I must pass this award along to another blogger that I consider “worthy”.
Though I have many blog “loves” (and you know who you are), I felt the need to pass the torch to a new blog that I read often and enjoy immensely.
He’s not unlike me in the many sentimental ways he writes in terms of family, kids and life.
I wish more people would visit him because I believe he has so much to say.
And he’s funny as a bastard.
Yeah, it’s Grimm.
Please pay the guy a visit and at least tell him congrats on the award.
That would be pretty funny.
While you’re there, check out a few posts.
What I like most about Grimm is that when I visit, I feel comfortable, like I’m wearing a great pair of old sneakers that my wife still wants badly to throw away (at the very least, wash really good)
Please stop by and say hi.

I want to once again thank all of you for your wonderful comments.
I’ve read every single one so please accept my invisible but leviathan gratitude.
You guys have no idea how much your words have given me a sense of great solace and peace.
The honesty, love and support comes through loud and clear and I had to post tonight if only to offer a heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you.
I promise to dust off the front-loader by the weekend and be back up visiting and leaving ~m’s all over your blogs (and your comments, dear readers).
Until then, much peace, my friends . . .
Be well.

~m

I will return

I’m currently dealing with some issues regarding my father and haven’t been anywhere near the blog.
I apologize for my absence here (and on blogs that I frequent) but know that
things are alright and that I will return as quickly as possible.
Thanks for your continued visits and your patience.
For now, I shall remain MIA . . .

~m