Manning vs Brady (aka “Good vs Evil”)

So much has been made about the Pats/Indy game this afternoon that I had to put up something here.
My daughter Sarah gave me a heads up on an article written by Gregg “sour grapes” Easterbrook of ESPN, a scathing article regarding his views on the New England Patriots and how he considers them essentially skum of the earth. (he fails to mention anything positive regarding the Pats, the gasbag)
I’d copy and paste some of what this queen wrote but it really pissed me off.
The hyperlink is above if you want to read it.
Let’s hope Gregg pulls his head out of his ass in time to watch the game. Putz.
Searching around the net, I did find an article that at least had a bit more truth in it.
It’s from the Providence Journal: Good vs Evil?
Much better article in many ways with much less biased bullshit.
Bottom line is this: two great teams + two great coaches + two great quarterbacks = a great afternoon of football.
Period.
It’s human nature to create nasty personal controversy but IMHO, it ultimately clouds the bottom line.

Peyton Manning Current Stats

TDS: 13
INT: 3
YRDS: 1,833
QB RTNG: 102.9

Tom Brady Current Stats

TDS: 30
INT: 2
YRDS: 2,431
QB RTNG: 136.2

No controversy over who’s having the better year.
While the country is surprisingly divided over who will win today one fact remains; these guys will see each other come January.
Let’s leave the “good vs evil” equation to the court system and watch some great football.
And Me? My money is on “Lord Vader” Belichick’s horde of hoodlums.
I suppose it’s time to watch a new lame Peyton Manning commercial but it’s a better time to kick back and rock and roll.
Hmmm, I wonder if Manning is up for the Noble Peace Prize this year?

~m

ps. for a rrrrrrrreal good laugh, Google “I hate Gregg Easterbrook

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Manning vs Brady (aka "Good vs Evil")

So much has been made about the Pats/Indy game this afternoon that I had to put up something here.
My daughter Sarah gave me a heads up on an article written by Gregg “sour grapes” Easterbrook of ESPN, a scathing article regarding his views on the New England Patriots and how he considers them essentially skum of the earth. (he fails to mention anything positive regarding the Pats, the gasbag)
I’d copy and paste some of what this queen wrote but it really pissed me off.
The hyperlink is above if you want to read it.
Let’s hope Gregg pulls his head out of his ass in time to watch the game. Putz.
Searching around the net, I did find an article that at least had a bit more truth in it.
It’s from the Providence Journal: Good vs Evil?
Much better article in many ways with much less biased bullshit.
Bottom line is this: two great teams + two great coaches + two great quarterbacks = a great afternoon of football.
Period.
It’s human nature to create nasty personal controversy but IMHO, it ultimately clouds the bottom line.

Peyton Manning Current Stats

TDS: 13
INT: 3
YRDS: 1,833
QB RTNG: 102.9

Tom Brady Current Stats

TDS: 30
INT: 2
YRDS: 2,431
QB RTNG: 136.2

No controversy over who’s having the better year.
While the country is surprisingly divided over who will win today one fact remains; these guys will see each other come January.
Let’s leave the “good vs evil” equation to the court system and watch some great football.
And Me? My money is on “Lord Vader” Belichick’s horde of hoodlums.
I suppose it’s time to watch a new lame Peyton Manning commercial but it’s a better time to kick back and rock and roll.
Hmmm, I wonder if Manning is up for the Noble Peace Prize this year?

~m

ps. for a rrrrrrrreal good laugh, Google “I hate Gregg Easterbrook

Nine Eleven

I remember the day vividly; there were crystal blue skies, warm and ample sunshine, comfortable temperatures, a picture perfect fall day in New England.

The date was September 11, 2001 and I was just getting into work (selling pianos at the time) when the phone rang.
It was my friend Colin, a piano technician from the store where I worked calling to tell me he’d heard on the radio that a plane had just flew into the World Trade Center in NYC.
It must have been a terrible accident we both agreed, a freakish malfunction of an old turbine perhaps, a minor incident but nevertheless a tragic loss of life of strangers neither of us would probably ever know.
At the time, it seemed safer thinking of it that way.
It was a small plane, Colin said and that made me feel better.
Fewer people meant fewer casualties in a city the size of New York.

 

After I hung up the phone, it occurred to me that something didn’t seem quite right about the conversation. Couldn’t put my finger on it but something was wrong.
I knew it and Colin knew it, we just didn’t want to say it.

I mean, planes just don’t fly into buildings, do they?

My question was promptly answered when the phone rang 15 minutes later.
It was Colin again sounding a bit nervous.

Another plane? Jesus Christ, what the hell is going on? I asked.

He went on to tell me that both of the towers were hit and that it looked like we were at war.

War? I thought, With who?

I went outside and looked up into the sky for a sign that the world was still alright and all I saw was the endless crystal blue of the atmosphere but I noticed something else; there was an eerie stillness and silence hanging in the balance.

Word got around quickly that the US had been attacked as we began adding words to our daily lexicon: WTC, 9-11, Atta, Al Qaida, Al-Jazeera . . .

The dark truths would begin to bleed through the seemingly impenetrable fabric of our lives virtually changing all of us, forever.

The phones started ringing at the store . . . but not from customers.
The calls were from wives to husbands, sons to mothers, sisters to brothers – with one simple question; are you okay?
By noontime the phones stopped ringing and business ceased as the United States was brought to its very knees.

I can’t help but think of the same three words I thought on that horrible day: God Help Us

 

I still pray for all that we lost that day; the brilliant lives, our {unjustifiable} innocence and our shattered sense of {false} security.
We were too blind for far too long.

My words describing that day are still woefully inadequate but my thoughts and feelings of incomprehensibility are still so incredibly tender and raw.

I want badly to forgive but I still can’t.

God Bless all those we lost.

As Annie said, turn those headlights on . . .

~m

Pass the Tums

About “No Reservations” . . .

I’ve read some bad film reviews in my life but nothing can top what folks are saying about this rotten turd of celluloid.
Just had to share this.

“No Reservations” has garnered comments such as this from
Shawn Edwards of Fox TV:

“The most delightful film of the year!”

and from Bonnie Laufer of Tribute TV

“Irresistible and charming. The PERFECT DATE movie.”

and from Gene Shalit
(Does anyone really believe this mustachioed whackjob anyway?)

“A Pleasure”
(thank, Gene. Now take care of the caterpillars mating on your forehead)

I want to set the record straight with a few choice comments from a weekly paper here in Boston. You can click HERE to get to the WeeklyDig but right now the site is suspiciously under construction. [BRB]
I’ve read reviews here before and have to say they’re usually outrageous and downright true.
And no, I haven’t seen the movie, but damn, this was funny . . .
Here are a few choice comments from David Wildman of the Dig:

“Catherine Zeta-Jones and Aaron Eckhart go through the motions of pretending to be real humans with actual feelings, all the while displaying the depth and emotional resonance of the underwear models in a Sears circular.”

Nice.

“Watching this film is the cinematic equivalent of taking that dreadful feeling you have just before you know you’re going to barf and prolonging it for 90 minutes.”

You know that feeling?

Wildman goes on and on but I think you get the point; do yourself a favor and take No Reservations off your menu immediately before someone else gets sick.
Just wanted to save you a few bucks.
Hey, there’s always NetFlix, right?

~m

Cleaning House

 

“Hey, Dave, what’s up with that healthy glow? What happened to your good old pasty, cadaver-like complexion?”

{Dave laughs}

“Oh, Bill. I had a nice and relaxing visit at the Clean as a Whistle Colonics Spa this weekend and man, I feel grrrrreat!”

 

In the not too distant future this could conceivably be a normal conversation at the office water cooler . . . or not.
I know, you’re wondering where the hell I’m going with this right?

Now and then I see an article in the paper that sends my “Pinch me, I must be dreaming” meter into orbit.
Yesterday, an article in the Metro on colonics sent me to Pluto.
Now I’m back to give you a report.

Colonics; the infusion of water into the rectum by a colon therapist to cleanse and flush out the colon

They better damn well use the Evian with me. {sniff, sniff}
In fact, make it a double.

It’s essentially an expensive enema for folks with nothing better to do with their money than, well, shove it up their bum.
I’m sure it has substantial health benefits and all that stuff but come on.
How far can something like this really go?
I get my prostate checked once a year and I still feel dirty 6 months later so from a psychological standpoint what in God’s name would one of these treatments do to me?
I’d have to sign up for rectal therapy.
Sheesh.

Anyway, it just struck me as an interesting service but how the hell could you promote it without laughing?

Maybe I’m ahead of the curve here but I’ve come up with a few choice names for establishments offering this procedure.
In a span of 20 minutes I came up with over twenty names (which was half the fun).
Here are a few names I really liked:

 

  • Roto-Colon, Inc.
  • Gee, my ass smells terrific
  • Coffee, Tea or Champagne enema?
  • Colon Blow Ranch {courtesy of SNL}
  • The Lush Flush Salon
  • G.I. Tract Joe’s
  • Colon Bowlin’ Cleaning Service
  • Tush Pushers Day Spa
  • Backdoor Genie
  • Tiny Bubbles
  • Hose Monster {free tattoo with 3 irrigation sessions!}

 

Feel free to leave me a name or two.
Once you get started, the names just kinda flow . . . like water

~m

ps.
For those wondering why I’m posting less frequently, I spend most warm summer nights out on the deck with a cigar and my favorite brew taking me away from the computer.
I truly live for this time of the year.

 

 

 

 

 

Don Imus + Censorship= Death by Termination

We have a shrinking polar ice cap that will someday make the state of Florida a semi-tropical island, homeless shelters packed to the gills with invisible people that society doesn’t want, babies dying of hunger every 7 seconds,
pets dying from tainted pet food and enough plutonium to blow
this planet to Kingdom Come and yet we choose to focus our time and energy on three stupid words taken out of context because they hurt somebody’s feelings.
Maybe that’s just the tip of the proverbial iceburg but personally, it feels much greater than that.

Freedom of speech will soon be a subject found only in History books if we don’t watch ourselves. With the head of Don Imus now securely set on a fresh green lettuce leaf in the middle of the media platter, I can’t help but feel this was a witchhunt instigated by the likes of many including Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, two political gasbags that need more of a muzzling than Imus.
These two jamokes have done just as much damage to the notion of equality, racial harmony and justice as the talk show host they’ve now successfully crucified.
The thought of forgiveness hasn’t even entered the equation.
And they’re both men of the cloth, right?
Does Imus deserve termination and eternal damnation?
His track record seems to indicate that he’s definitely borderline.
But at what cost?
He’ll be on satellite radio by next week anyway.
We’ve all lost something here.
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even next year but we’ve lost something. Everyday it seems another insignificant personal freedom goes on hiatus and we’re too caught up in politically correct semantics to take notice.
I did get a chuckle when I read a quote from a Rutgers Junior regarding the ‘Ho’ fiasco.
She said, “This has scarred me for life.”
WTF?
Please stop.
You’re killing me.
Get off the cross, someone else needs the wood.
What Imus said was disgraceful and uncalled for but ‘scarred for life’?
With the amount of hypocrisy witnessed in the media and society these days, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
I’ll be shaking my head over this one for a while.
Somebody pinch me, Imus be dreaming. . .

~m