For here, or to go?

Alright, a guy comes into the store several months ago and asks,
“Hey, can I try some pipe tobacco?”
I say, “Yeah, help yourself.”

He proceeds to eat, yes, eat small handfuls of 4-5 of our blends.
I shit you not. Yeah, I’m dying and no one knows but me because it’s a Sunday and I’m working alone.
“Which blend has more latakia?” He asks, while munching away.
I show him and he asks for 2oz of said blend.
I ask (and I can’t help myself), “You want that for here or to go?”
God, he looks confused.
“To go,” he says.
I’m still laughing about it . . .

~m

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Bad Country Song Titles

  • I hate every bone in her body but mine.
  • I ain’t never gone to bed with an ugly woman but I sure woke up with a few.
  • If the phone don’t ring, you’ll know it’s me.
  • I’ve missed you, but my aim’s improvin’.
  • Wouldn’t take her to a dogfight ’cause I’m real scared she’d win.
  • I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
  • My wife ran off with my best friend and I miss him.
  • She took my ring and gave me the finger.
  • She’s lookin’ better with every beer.

    And the Number One bad title is . . .

    • It’s hard to kiss the lips at night (that chewed my ass out all day long).

    A shout out to my good cigar-smoking bud, WM for the email.
    You made Henry proud with this one, dude.

    ~m

    Pamela’s Dirty Snowballs

    I can’t say enough about these little rascals.
    You just can’t stop eating them.
    And I’m sure you don’t believe me.
    So make a batch and let me know.
    These bastards are way worse than a bag of Lay’s Potato Chips in terms of compulsive “eatability”.

    1/4 pound butter (none of that “can’t believe it’s not butter” shit ~m)
    1 package chopped dates
    (buy decent chopped dates in plastic containers, like the ones they sell at the deli. Not sure how much is in a package or plastic container, but I usually just use one container or box. Make sure you get the chopped dates, not the whole dates, and if they have sugar on them that’s alright.)
    1 egg beaten

    3/4 cup sugar

    1 teaspoon vanilla

    2 cups Rice Krispies

    1 cup chopped walnuts

    2 bags coconut
    (I usually double this recipe when I make themgood advice, ~m)

    Put first five ingredients in a large pot on the stove (spaghetti pot), melt and bring to a low boil.
    You should stay close and stir quite often so it won’t burn.
    Once it is all melted and it comes to a low boil (it will take awhile, you will see the mixture start to bubble), you can turn off the heat and move the pot to a pot holder or another burner and add the Rice Krispies and nuts and stir until it is combined.
    You then lay out wax paper and cover it with shredded coconut.
    You want the mixture to still be warm so the coconut sticks to the ball.
    (God, I love this recipe ~m)
    Roll them into balls about the size of meatballs.
    You can actually make them as big or small as you like.
    (I usually use rubber gloves when I make them because it seems easier to me because the mixture is so sticky, but you don’t have to be.)
    Roll the balls in the coconut and push the coconut onto the ball.
    Sometimes this is frustrating because it seems like the coconut is not sticking so well, but you can always sprinkle the leftover coconut on top of the snowballs when you are finished making them.
    You can either put them on a plate or in a container and sprinkle the remainder of the coconut on top.
    Put them in Christmas tins and sprinkle the leftover coconut on top.
    They are not hard to make, just very messy.
    Enjoy, folks.
    Merry Christmas!

    ~p

    Boston meme (4Lass)

    boston-sunset-700.jpg

    Lass hit me with a tag several weeks ago to do a meme.
    And though I’m not big on meme’s I figure I owe her one.
    Lord knows, I’ve managed to snake my way out of a few of them but this one was actually interesting in many ways.
    And the fact that Lass is a good friend and has been on my blogroll since I started this whole blogging thing.

    Without further ado here are a few of the “bests” in my area.
    I’ve decided to give you a tour of Boston (my second home).

    Best Place to Eat:

    This one is almost impossible to answer in a city like Boston.
    There are just too damn many great restaurants.
    If I had to pick a few I’d have to say L’Osteria on Salem Street in the North End. This is your quintessential Italian bistro. When the warm crusty bread and salad make you think you’ve died and gone to heaven, you know the meal will knock your socks off.

    After having the Veal Piccata, I’m still searching for my socks.
    Another incredible restaurant is the East Coast Grille in Cambridge @ Inman Square.

    It’s mostly a fish type of place but beef dishes are over the top (ask my wife).

    This funky little place is unique. Period.
    I had Grilled White Pepper Crusted Tuna with House Pickled Ginger, Aged Soy Sauce, Pacific Farms Fresh Wasabi, Grilled Vegetables & a Spicy Bok Choy Salad.
    This meal had me moaning (once again, ask my wife).

    I can’t wait to go here again. My birthday is in January so . . .

    There’s the Rattlesnake on Boylston Street with the best damn catfish Po’ Boy I’ve ever had in my life.

    I’ll wrap this up with Al’s State Street Cafe with their State Street Special: prosciutto, fresh mozzarella, fresh basil leaves and thinly sliced plum tomatoes, drizzled with olive oil and balsamic vinegar served on a crusty French baguette.

    Hungry yet?

    Best Shopping Mall:

    Not really a mall but a wonderful place to hemorrhage multiple Franklin’s; Faneuil Hall
    Click on the link and take a “virtual tour”.
    If you’re a woman, send hubby to the Union Oyster House.

    You’re going to be a while . . .

    Famous Landmark:
    Should be plural for Boston.
    Driving into the city via the Mass Pike the Citgo sign in Kenmore Square greets you (and every other Red Sox fan).

    After that the Pru (Prudential Center) and the John Hancock buildings can’t help but catch your eye. They’re huge and stunning. I take them for granted. Shame on me.

    There’s Paul Revere’s House, the Old North Church and last but not least Fenway Park.

    Best Tourism Attraction:

    The Freedom Trail

    Symphony Hall

    &

    Fenway Park (again)

    This list could go on ad nauseum.

    Best Place for Kids:

    Museum of Science
    is a pretty safe bet.
    It’s huge, loud and a ton of fun.
    (once you find the effin’ place)
    The frozen “Duck Pond” on the ‘Common” is great in the winter months for skating, the summer months for swimming.

    Popular Outdoor Activity:
    Walking, running, skiing, snowboarding, skateboarding, ice skating, roller blading.
    It all happens here.

    Breath-taking views:
    Top of the Pru doesn’t suck on any given night and a four hour ride north of the city will put you in North Conway, New Hampshire in the heart of the White Mountains.
    On a clear, fall day the view is spectacular.
    Ever seen leaves explode in technicolor?

    Only Found In:

    Yawkey Way (Fenway Park)
    You haven’t lived until you’ve walked this stretch of pavement on a Red Sox gameday.
    The smell of simmering sausages and onions is a sacred thing.

    The Zakim Bunker-Hill Bridge is a magnificent structure that connects Boston to Chelsea and beyond; awesome during the day, a religious experience at night.

    Berklee College of Music; my alma mater. Scary. Cool school.

    Newbury StreetBoston’s very own “Rodeo Drive”.

    Though this list could turn itself into a book, I’ll stop here.

    Should ever you find yourself in Boston, drop me a line.

    I’ll meet you at Foley’s for a Guinness or three.

    ~m

    Blogger's Desiderata

    “Stumble aimlessly amid the trolls and waste, but remember what peace there be in staring at your toes for a couple of weeks. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all readers. Publish your posts quietly and clearly, and listen to podcasts, even the dull and garbled, for they too have a right to hog bandwidth. Avoid loud and aggressive bloggers. They are pains in the ass . . . “

    This is without a doubt one of the best posts I’ve read lately.
    I found it through Rain.
    (And if you haven’t visited her yet, shame on you.)
    Now click on the “Desiderata” above and prepare to be thoroughly entertained.
    This is brilliant.
    And yes, I wish I’d written it.
    No comments are neccesary here.
    Save them for Ian.

    ~m

     

    Blogger’s Desiderata

    “Stumble aimlessly amid the trolls and waste, but remember what peace there be in staring at your toes for a couple of weeks. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all readers. Publish your posts quietly and clearly, and listen to podcasts, even the dull and garbled, for they too have a right to hog bandwidth. Avoid loud and aggressive bloggers. They are pains in the ass . . . “

    This is without a doubt one of the best posts I’ve read lately.
    I found it through Rain.
    (And if you haven’t visited her yet, shame on you.)
    Now click on the “Desiderata” above and prepare to be thoroughly entertained.
    This is brilliant.
    And yes, I wish I’d written it.
    No comments are neccesary here.
    Save them for Ian.

    ~m