
“Hey, Dave, what’s up with that healthy glow? What happened to your good old pasty, cadaver-like complexion?”
{Dave laughs}
“Oh, Bill. I had a nice and relaxing visit at the Clean as a Whistle Colonics Spa this weekend and man, I feel grrrrreat!”
In the not too distant future this could conceivably be a normal conversation at the office water cooler . . . or not.
I know, you’re wondering where the hell I’m going with this right?
Now and then I see an article in the paper that sends my “Pinch me, I must be dreaming” meter into orbit.
Yesterday, an article in the Metro on colonics sent me to Pluto.
Now I’m back to give you a report.
Colonics; the infusion of water into the rectum by a colon therapist to cleanse and flush out the colon
They better damn well use the Evian with me. {sniff, sniff}
In fact, make it a double.
It’s essentially an expensive enema for folks with nothing better to do with their money than, well, shove it up their bum.
I’m sure it has substantial health benefits and all that stuff but come on.
How far can something like this really go?
I get my prostate checked once a year and I still feel dirty 6 months later so from a psychological standpoint what in God’s name would one of these treatments do to me?
I’d have to sign up for rectal therapy.
Sheesh.
Anyway, it just struck me as an interesting service but how the hell could you promote it without laughing?
Maybe I’m ahead of the curve here but I’ve come up with a few choice names for establishments offering this procedure.
In a span of 20 minutes I came up with over twenty names (which was half the fun).
Here are a few names I really liked:
- Roto-Colon, Inc.
- Gee, my ass smells terrific
- Coffee, Tea or Champagne enema?
- Colon Blow Ranch {courtesy of SNL}
- The Lush Flush Salon
- G.I. Tract Joe’s
- Colon Bowlin’ Cleaning Service
- Tush Pushers Day Spa
- Backdoor Genie
- Tiny Bubbles
- Hose Monster {free tattoo with 3 irrigation sessions!}
Feel free to leave me a name or two.
Once you get started, the names just kinda flow . . . like water
~m
ps.
For those wondering why I’m posting less frequently, I spend most warm summer nights out on the deck with a cigar and my favorite brew taking me away from the computer.
I truly live for this time of the year.