- I hate every bone in her body but mine.
- I ain’t never gone to bed with an ugly woman but I sure woke up with a few.
- If the phone don’t ring, you’ll know it’s me.
- I’ve missed you, but my aim’s improvin’.
- Wouldn’t take her to a dogfight ’cause I’m real scared she’d win.
- I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
- My wife ran off with my best friend and I miss him.
- She took my ring and gave me the finger.
- She’s lookin’ better with every beer.
And the Number One bad title is . . .
It’s hard to kiss the lips at night (that chewed my ass out all day long).
A shout out to my good cigar-smoking bud, WM for the email.
You made Henry proud with this one, dude.