Cry

Now and then I press play on my Nano and a song comes up that literally penetrates my soul, like today.
It hasn’t been a very good day for reasons I refuse to go into; my life, my problems.
I listened to this song from a band called
Casting Crowns
Ironically, I first heard the band while sitting in the car (station surfing) waiting for Pamela to come out of church a few Sundays ago.
The Man upstairs definitely
has a plan for me.
My soul is tired, as am I. But that’s okay.
Enjoy the lyrics.
I feel I could have written them myself.
And though I’m not a big God guy, these words spoke to me tonight.
I’ve included no hyperlinks to buy anything.
You’re on your own if you really want to hear the tune.
And it’s real nice stuff. It’s Toad the Wet Sprocket meets God, or something like that.
For anyone worried about the deeper implications of this post, I’m fine.
I have my one and only and the wonderful Man upstairs.
They both try like hell to keep me sane, a tough job.
I think I’m in very good hands. For now . . .

*EAST TO WEST

Here I am Lord and I’m drowning
In your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don’t want to end up where you found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight

I know you’ve cast my sins as far
As the East is from the West
And I stand before you now
As though I’ve never sinned
but today
I feel like I’m just one mistake away
From you leaving me this way
Jesus can you show me

Just how far the East is from the West
Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy, I find rest
Cause you know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins
And less reminding of my sin
Time and time again
Your truth is drowned out by the storm I’m in
Today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
From you leaving me this way

Jesus can you show me
Just how far the East is from the West
Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
Cause you know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other

I know you’ve washed me white
Turned my darkness into light
I need your peace to get me through
To get me through this night
I can’t live by what I feel
But by the truth your word reveals
I’m not holding on to you
But your holding on to me
Your holding on to me

Jesus, you know just how far
The East is from the West
I don’t have to see the man I’ve been
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
Cause you know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other

~m

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10 thoughts on “Cry

  1. Sometimes it helps to just get on your knees and pray, turn it all over to the man upstairs and let him handle it. It’s amazing how much of a load that takes of a mortals shoulders.


    Already turned it over long ago. Waiting for an answer . . .
    Thanks, Carn. Tough post to comment on.
    ~m

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  2. it always helps when you can see the things that mean the most michael…in some ways i’ve always been able to do that, but in other more complicated areas i’ve struggled many, many times….
    the 5th line of the first verse struck a chord…all of them are quite meaningful, but that one jumped out at me


    5th line? Got me too . . .
    ~m

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  3. We all get like this. The great thing about music, and I think you already know this, is that it sometimes leads us to a place that we didn’t realize we needed to go…
    Anyway, I’ve been doing this with a Christian singer Jeremy Camp. Songs like ‘Understand’ and ‘Take You Back’. Have you heard those?

    kim

    I will check him out. Thanks for the warm thoughts and words . . .
    It’s funny, music does sometimes lead us to places we need to be. Wonderful thought.
    ~m

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  4. We have a “positive hits” station here in DC, and I listen to it with the babies a lot. Casting Crowns is one of my faves, and this song particularly is one that always gets me in the gut when it comes on.

    Sometimes songs can hit that place in us that nothing else really can.

    I hope all will be okay.

    I love the fact that I’m not the only one that’s heard of this band. Wonderful stuff.
    Things are okay. It’s just that some days the cloud cover is a bit too heavy.
    The sun eventually comes out.
    Tanks, Jess
    ~m

    Like

  5. “As far as the east is from the west,
    So far has He removed
    our transgressions from us.
    Just as a father has compassion on his children,
    So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
    For He Himself knows our frame:
    He is mindful that we are but dust.
    As for man, his days are like grass;
    As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
    When the wind has passed over it, it is no more;
    and its place acknowledges it no longer.
    But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting
    on those who fear Him,
    And His righteousness to children’s children….”
    Psalm 103:11-17

    Great posting brother! I just downloaded the song from Itunes…..Wow….
    Thank you!!!
    See you at L.J’s….
    Eliud

    Love ya, bud. Wonderful verse.
    ~m

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  6. The most encouraging thing to me is knowing that my life has been weaved together by God. Everything happens for a reason. I may never know the reason(s), but just the fact that someone has them already worked out, and that they are in my best interest and not to harm me… That’s a powerful and peace-invoking idea.

    Thank you for sharing this. Posts like these are beautiful.

    Just keep on. Tomorrow is always a new day!

    There is always tomorrow. It’s getting through today that’s sometimes a bit rough.
    Thanks for the shoulder, D
    ~m

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  7. I was listening to Way FM as I was working in my office a few minutes ago. East to West came on and, as always, it brings a flood of feelings. I felt the need to view the lyrics and I went to Google. And there was your post. I don’t know anymore of what you are going through than you do of my troubles. Life is tough. However, God cares. I was going through similar trials just three-and-a-half years ago. I don’t know why this stuff happens but I am trusting Him. I’m not giving up. I am just giving it all to Him. I find peace through music. Just like before, one particular song has become a prayer that I pray often. It is a beautiful song that soothes my soul. I wish you peace as well.

    All in His time… Keep the faith!

    >>>Kevin

    Power of Your Love Lyrics
    Rebecca St. James

    Lord I come to You
    Let my heart be changed, renewed
    Flowing from the grace
    That I’ve found in You
    And Lord I’ve come to know
    The weaknesses I see in me
    Will be stripped away
    By the power of Your love

    Hold me close
    Let Your love surround me
    Bring me near
    Draw me to Your side
    And as I wait
    I’ll rise up like an eagle
    And I will soar with You
    Your spirit leads me on
    By the Power of Your love

    Lord unveil my eyes
    Let me see you face to face
    The knowledge of Your love
    As you live in me
    And Lord renew my mind
    As Your will unfolds in my life
    In living every day
    By the Power of Your love

    Hold me close
    Let Your love surround me
    Bring me near
    Draw me to Your side
    And as I wait
    I’ll rise up like an eagle
    And I will soar with You
    Your Spirit leads me on
    By the power of Your love

    (Draw me close
    Hold me near
    Draw me closer
    Hold me near
    You draw me close to You
    And never let me go)

    And as I wait
    I’ll rise up like the eagle
    And I will soar with You
    Your spirit leads me on
    By the power of Your love
    By the power of Your love

    (Draw me close
    Hold me near)

    Kevin-
    I’ve already sent you an email and plan on downloading the above tune tomorrow morning.
    Thanks again.
    ~m

    Like

  8. Michael,

    I decided not to reply back to you in our personal e-mail conversations. But I did want to give an update. I will share here in case it may offer hope to others out there who might be struggling.

    I went back and re-read your last message to me. That last part is hard for me to grip right now (They say God never gives you more than you can handle. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much).

    On the evening of 10/29/2007, just two days after you wrote that and I read it, I lost almost everything in my life… my family, my home, all of my belongings. I lost it at the end of a super day at work, school, helping a friend and a beautiful communion with God at the Garden of Prayer that I frequent in the evening.

    It’s been a tough week since the event happenned. I have re-read Job and Psalms and am trying to figure out what I am missing. I feel that my heart is right. I talk to God all the time and the tribulations persist.

    Don’t get me wrong… I have not given up. I have had my arguments with God. I am a good person. I believe that perhaps He has plucked me from a situation to protect me. I don’t know why, but I believe it to be true.

    I am clinging to Exodus 14:14 which says to let God fight the fight and just be at peace. It’s hard with the waiting and trusting thing. There is a battle waging out there and I’m caught in the middle.

    I heard a few things over the last few days that seem to help:

    Tribulation brings perserverance.

    Perserverance brings character.

    Character brings hope.

    Hope is the achor and grasps what I cannot see.

    ——————

    The same sun that melts wax, hardens the clay.

    The same rain that drowns the rat, grows the hay.

    >>Kevin

    I appreciate you letting me know how you’re doing. (even though it’s not exactly what I wanted to hear)
    Keep the faith, buddy.
    I’ve said numerous prayers for you, hope they help.
    Remember:
    I’m not holding on to you
    But your holding on to me
    Your holding on to me

    HE is always there. Even though you may not know it.
    Please send me an email and let me know how you’re doing, okay?
    be safe, be well,
    ~m

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  9. Update for any who may want to know whether I crashed and burned. Close, but no, I am more alive than ever.

    The dark side has lost this round. Fast-forward to 11/28/2007. I was totally vindicated. God has brought things to light that had been hiding in the shadows for years. Now they are out in the open. Resolutions are now able to happen.

    God cares. I really believe that because the last 30 days have been tough and he led me through it. I have my good health, I have a great support group even here in this corner. have a few belongings and a place to stay with the hope of bouncing back. I have a good job. So much to be thankful for but most of all I am thankful for the hope that there is in a God who cares about even me. There have been so many miracles that have happenned in the last 30 days that have brought me to where I am now.

    Sure there is pain and there is a long process to follow until things are near like they were. But I am on a path with a guide who is watching for me and will lead me to a better place. I believe that I’m just being tempered for future great things.

    I’m good!

    >>Kevin


    It’s funny that I was thinking about you riding home on the train the other night.
    Checked my comments and there you were. Strange, huh?
    So glad to hear you’re doing okay.
    Please keep me posted and you may want to think about blogging.
    To be honest, I think it could be great for you. You have so much to say.
    Go with WordPress. Trust me, it’s awesome.
    ~m

    Like

  10. It’s a funny thing coming across this site after so many years… almost ten. How life has changed. All has not been easy. I have taken some detours along the way and seen more than a few dead ends. Bit I’m still doing well… probably better than ever.

    Reading my words from way back at a very dark time in my life and when I was living in the South East and couldn’t see a way out of the predicaments I was in. Since then I have seen divorce, impending layoff, breakup of family and friends, and a big move. But life does go on. I have gotten almost everything back and more. New job with same company… new friends, with many influential and even celebrities. I would have never believed that I would ever live in California, much less with a new family in a home overlooking the Sea.

    It is so crazy to imagine when I think about my current state of blessings. God has been good to me.

    Every time I hear the song East to West, it reminds me of the journey I have made and obstacles overcome. It’s humbling to see how my life has been clay in the Potters hands and I am allowing myself to become His masterpiece.

    Are you struggling with life and what it has thrown you? Never give up. There is a God right here with us who wants to bless abundantly. Be faithful and He will do the same. I have seen it.

    Remembering my roots and where I have been is important. I use what I have learned and do my best to encourage others who are struggling along their own journey. It’s the least I can do.

    Be well always…

    Kevin

    Liked by 1 person

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