Not enough love in the world

I found a crumpled piece of paper on the train the other day and could see there was some writing on it. Being the perpetually inquisitive one, I picked it up and flattened it out.

It read:
I watched you sleeping
you’re beautiful

A simple, eloquent and somewhat heartbreaking note rolled into one (kind of disturbing, as well).
I wondered about its recipient as well as its author and how long this obsession had been going on. You just don’t see someone one day and write a note like this. This has been quietly simmering for sometime.

I’ve watched people sleeping on the train and more often than not, it ain’t pretty.

This must have been a very different scenario. Admiring someone from afar but never getting close enough to touch must be a terrible kind of living hell.

Maybe these two people knew one another but one of them couldn’t seem to bridge the impossible chasm between them for reasons unknown.
Six words rich in meaning written on a carelessly dropped (and crumpled) piece of paper. To me, it smacks of a significant sense of loss and incompleteness for both parties involved. The note isn’t the issue here as much as the story hidden deep within the text.

I told my wife about it and she wondered if the note was even delivered or if its author crumpled and dropped it, a thought that hadn’t even occurred to me.
Words like this have a weight and possibility to them and I can’t imagine not letting them reach home.

I think back to the number of times I gazed at Pamela from a distance, afraid to approach her for fear of rejection and embarrassment.
I know I fell in love with her face long before I knew her soul. Needless to say, we run deeper than the oceans.

And though the waters are much rougher these days than we’d both like, I consider myself a lucky one; my message in a bottle was ultimately delivered and read and I thank God my words found the still waters of acceptance.
I’ll never know any more about that crumpled note, but I wanted to give it some light hoping in some small way that it too, might someday find its way home.

~m

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15 thoughts on “Not enough love in the world

  1. Oh God, that is so sweet and so sad all at the same time. That whole watching someone sleep speaks volumes. You should send that into Found Magazine.com. I have a link on my blog.

    Go Red Sox!!

    That whole watching someone sleep speaks volumes.
    I thought so too.
    I’ll check the link. Thanks, Carn.
    ~m

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  2. Reading that the note was crumpled brought a sense of sadness….that someone read it and crumpled it. I immediately felt for the writer. Being in the middle of my own storm at sea, I can shed a tear for the joy and simplicity of the someone just having time to watch someone else sleep and think they are beautiful. These days there are so many thoughts running through my head, I am reminded to ~Live Simply and Cherish Right Now~

    Blog it, kiddo. Call me.
    You’re a natural with this stuff. :o)
    ~m

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  3. I think someone woke up on the train, found the note in their lap, and just crumpled it and left it. You gave it an excellent home, though. 🙂

    I certainly hope so.
    ~m

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  4. Are you sure it wasn’t just a shopping list, and you read it upside down?

    I like that thought, DT.
    Creative little bastard, you are. . . . 😉 {since you don’t know me, i mean that in a good way}
    ~m

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  5. whilst i enjoy watching someone i love sleep, it creeps me out sometimes when they do it to me….i know, strange huh?
    but there’s nothing quite like the sight of their face…peaceful, serene, tranquil, whatever you want to call it…in your dreams wrinkles and problems don’t exist and the burden that is often life itself isn’t a problem anymore….
    for what it’s worth, i think you gave it a brilliant home….
    you wanna adopt me???


    Anytime, kiddo 😉
    ~m

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  6. Michael,
    I’d like to think it was someone in love who wrote that while his girlfriend slept. I refuse to think it was written by some perv. That is too scary to contemplate.

    Yeah, the perv angle never occurred to me. Weird, huh?
    ~m

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  7. I agree with Lynn. I think someone woke up, read it and took it with them and maybe reread it and said, “That creep, watching me while I sleep, how dare he?” Or something like that. I love what you wrote about it and the way you wrote about it was so poetic – touching.

    Very touching about your love for your Pamela. Sounds much like my love for my husband as well. Peace to you today.

    ~RS ~

    Hubby sounds like me, a very lucky guy :0)
    ~m

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  8. I know this is awful of me but my first thought was that it was a stalker’s note, rejected by a scared and beleaguered woman. The fact that I write murder mysteries may have influenced my take on things, just as your writer romanticism has influenced your take???? Still, I can’t shake the idea that it was from a stalker. Hope she got away.
    WC

    Interesting. The perv thing never crossed my mind.
    Romanticism definitely grabbed me by the “mental junk” on this one.
    Funny how different our minds work, huh?
    ~m

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  9. ok, maybe it WAS a stalker, but…. i’d like to think not.

    in my wildest dreams…that note is to me, written by my lover, and tucked into my purse on my rush out the door in the morning. it is crumpled because i was clutching it against my chest, in the vicinity of my heart, feeling his presence in the ink….

    and then i woke up. no, seriously, ’twill never happen….

    and, in the “creeped-out experiences-on-the-train” category, MAYBE that note was for you. maybe it was your friend who commented on your college-wear last week…uh, you didn’t fall asleep on de train, mon, didja now?

    BOO!

    “my message in a bottle was ultimately delivered and read and I thank God my words found the still waters of acceptance.” how beautiful for both of you. you are truly blessed.

    hope you feel better!

    and, in the “creeped-out experiences-on-the-train” category, MAYBE that note was for you. maybe it was your friend who commented on your college-wear last week…uh, you didn’t fall asleep on de train, mon, didja now?

    Oh, Yvonne! Yoiks! 😉
    ~m

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  10. I don’t think it’s creepy at all. I keep thinking of all the different scenarios where I’ve watched someone from across the room, or across the parking lot, or across the room at class, etc, where I honestly thought the person was beautiful (and not just in the physical sense of the word) but never told them.

    I mean really, how kosher is it to walk up to someone and tell them that they’re beautiful? We’re too afraid of strangers these days. I think notes like these are lost, forgotten, and left undelivered inside people’s hearts.

    I think notes like these are lost, forgotten, and left undelivered inside people’s hearts.

    Sad, but so true.
    ~m

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  11. Note-schnote! I’m much more impressed with the BEAUTIFUL feelings you have for your lovely wife “I think back to the number of times I gazed at Pamela from a distance, afraid to approach her for fear of rejection and embarrassment. I know I fell in love with her face long before I knew her soul. Needless to say, we run deeper than the oceans. And though the waters are much rougher these days than we’d both like, I consider myself a lucky one; my message in a bottle was ultimately delivered and read and I thank God my words found the still waters of acceptance.”

    My GAWD, Ugh, be still my beating heart… You guys are so lucky to have each other.

    Your comment made me smile. 😉
    Probably made Pamela smile as well.
    Thanks, Bella
    ~m

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  12. “And though the waters are much rougher these days than we’d both like, I consider myself a lucky one; my message in a bottle was ultimately delivered and read and I thank God my words found the still waters of acceptance.”

    You’ve been given a wonderful gift, one that not enough people get to experience. But I’m sure you already know that.

    -smith

    As I tell many people: We’re not poor, we just have no money 😉
    Tanks, Smith
    ~m

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  13. Reading through the comments, it’s interesting to see that about half think it was a stalker and half thought it was from an admirer. I’m with the half that hoped it was from an admirer. The fact that the word ‘you’re’ was spelled correctly gets extra points in my little world. The writer has already endeared himself to me with his ability to spell!

    Also loved the beautiful words you had for Pam. A very sweet read on this gloomy morning here in the heartland of America.

    Maybe I was too optimistic writing about the admirer.
    I like to think I was right. 😉
    ~m

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