Got this from my buddy, Gerry . . . like 6 months ago.
The following is a list of things that dogs just don’t like about us humans.
I’ve taken the liberty of editing a few of them.
- Blaming your farts on me….not funny…not funny at all !!!
- Yelling at me for barking. I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG, YOU ASSCLOWN!
- Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
- Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Just stop it!
- Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. That’s for snobbyass French poodles. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you’re not home.
- The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Hooooooooweeee, what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
- Taking me to the vet for “the big snip”, then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
- Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet. I got paws, remember?
- Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven’t you noticed the fur?
- How you act disgusted when I lick my junk. Look, we both know the truth. You’re just jealous.