Deep thoughts of the everyday K9


Got this from my buddy, Gerry . . . like 6 months ago.
The following is a list of things that dogs just don’t like about us humans.
I’ve taken the liberty of editing a few of them.

  1. Blaming your farts on me….not funny…not funny at all !!!
  2. Yelling at me for barking. I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG, YOU ASSCLOWN!
  3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
  4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Just stop it!
  5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. That’s for snobbyass French poodles. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you’re not home.
  6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Hooooooooweeee, what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
  7. Taking me to the vet for “the big snip”, then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
  8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet. I got paws, remember?
  9. Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven’t you noticed the fur?
  10. How you act disgusted when I lick my junk. Look, we both know the truth. You’re just jealous.

9 thoughts on “Deep thoughts of the everyday K9

  1. LOL !!
    I love my dog and proud to say I don’t do any of those things. My husband has done the fake throw thing – I think it’s cruel.
    And on #10… MBAMT.

    Thanks for a funny post. I’m bumming this morning because my favorite DJ has disappeared AGAIN and I can’t locate him. Dam, it’s already 7:40.

    MBAMT? You’re killing me, Lolly 😉 叶青双在水中的降解特性研究? 😆


  2. i found #5 particularly upsetting given i may have one in the family quite soon 😆
    and # 6 made me spit my morning tea…the day has started with a laugh, i can but hope it continues…..
    btw, have to say i 100% agree with #10

    Oh, Moe! Not a French Poodle?!?!?!? Gaaad! They hump stuff.
    I hate those coiffed, upper crusty little bastards.
    Funny story, {well, funny to me anyway}
    The owner of an American Mastiff is living next door to the owner of a miniature French Poodle (even worse)
    One day, the mastiff gets out and guess what? Yup, he ends up eating the French Poodle. Wonder if he used Grey Poupon? I know, I’m terrible. Gaaad….
    But I’d pay money to see that on YouTube.
    Sorry, I just hate little, nervous dogs. It’s how I roll, I guess . . . . 😉


  3. DT, don’t you know that’s what pets are for – talking to.

    And some of them DO understand. I can give you lots of examples.

    I agree. Some do understand more than we’d like to believe.


  4. settle petal! 😆
    there’s more chance of me growing THAT male appendage than gettiing a *gasp* P-O-O-D-L-E..
    hell, i won’t even say it, i have to spell it!
    i was referring to my love letter…..
    it was a funny story btw…..

    Thank God. You had me scared there for a minute. :0)


  5. I have to say dogs do understand some things we talk to them daily. I can tell majic my lab to pick out a specific toy to play with and he will bring it. I can tell him and he will search until he finds that one I do ask for. And yea he falls for the fake toss now and then… I know cruel 😉

    Can he make a cheese omelet? I figure with a name like Majic
    That would be real cool. 😆


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