You might be too old to gig if:
Ø Before each gig, you find you’re warming up more parts of your body
Ø It becomes more important to find a place onstage for your boxfan, than your amp.
Ø During the second set, you scream for the drummer to please stop hitting those annoying cymbals
Ø You refuse to play out of tune
Ø Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round a golf
Ø Your fans have left by 10:30
Ø All you want from groupies is a foot massage.
Ø You love shopping the dollar store because you can sing along to most of your playlist.
Ø You hire band members for their values instead of their talent.
Ø Instead of a fifth piece, your band wants to spring for a roadie with the extra money.
Ø You’ve lost the directions to the gig
Ø Prepping for the gig involves plucking hair from your chin or nose
Ø Most of the hair you’ve plucked from your chin or nose are gray
Ø You need your glasses to see your amp settings
Ø You need help on and off the stage
Ø You’ve thrown out your back jumping off the stage because no one would help
Ø You’re thrilled to have new year’s off
Ø The waitress is your daughter
Ø You stop the set because your bottle of ibuprofen fell behind the speakers
Ø Most of your crowd just sways in their seats
Ø You find drink tokens from last month’s gig in your guitar case
Ø You refuse to play without earplugs
Ø You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30
Ø You want an opening act
Ø You check the TV schedule before booking a gig
Ø High notes make you cough
Ø Your gig stool has a back
Ø You’re related to at least one other member of the band
Ø You need a nap
Ø You eat before the gig, you get heartburn then need the nap.
Ø You don’t let anyone “sit in”
Ø After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early
Ø On the breaks, you now go to your van to lay down
Ø You prefer a music stand with a light
Ø You say you double on bass
Ø When shopping, you consider the instrument’s weight as well as tone.
Ø When in the music store, the hip sales people ignore you even though you have cash.
Ø You don’t recover until Tuesday afternoon
Ø You can’t operate without a setlist
Ø You know all the words to “Hotel California”