Tattoo

This post is somewhat repulsive.
Just my own silly little observation…

I do believe I’ve found a job that I would never want, even if it paid some incredible cash, I still couldn’t do it. I could never be a tattoo artist. It’s a short story but it starts with a large woman that I saw standing in line at the Coldstone Ice Cream place one hot afternoon.
Judging from the shaking of the ground beneath her feet I’d say she tipped the scales at 275 or so. This was one big, hunk of a woman. To get by her on a sidewalk would probably require a variance of some sort.
I’m rambling.
She was wearing a teeny-tiny pink shirt that showed off her impressive midriff. Her t-shirt said “You can’t touch this.” Come on, who the hell would really want to? The overall effect was—how shall I say it, globe-like?
Ohhbese? (bigger than obese) Palatial?
I was unfortunately behind her which is where the thought of never being a tattoo artist came to mind.
I could see the small of her back (a contradiction if ever there was one) and the unsightly crack of her heiny, a good 2” worth. Real nice. Rising up out of the murky depths of her posterior was a tattoo of some kind. I didn’t want to stare for fear of going stark raving mad so I never found out just what it was. I have a few ideas as to what it could have been but I really don’t want to go there. She ordered a mountainous vat of 5 or so flavors mixed together with Butterfinger's and M & M’s and Jimmies and God knows what else; a reasonable caloric addition to her vast temple of flesh.
Maybe they need to implement some type of weight scale in front of the Coldstone register and if you “pin the needle” you can only have fat-free yogurt in a kid’s cup.
I guess I came away from the experience #1) wondering why some people dress the way they do and #2) wondering who the lucky son of a bitch was that had to spend 4 hours looking at this woman’s vast backside. I bet his story is really something to chew on.

~m

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3 thoughts on “Tattoo

  1. I happened to stumble upon your blog and must admit.. that’s a pretty funny story.

    At least she wasn’t wearing skin tight pants that showed every wrinkle and dimple on her behind 😦

    Like

  2. Rue and Jules-
    It was funny but sad in a way as well. I kept trying to imagine this woman standing in front of a mirror saying, “yeah, I look gooood!” I couldn’t do it. 😉
    Anyway, thanks for the visit. Stop by again.

    michaelm

    Like

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