I was listening to WEEI Sports Radio out of Boston on the way to the train this morning when I heard that Russell Crowe, the total Aussie gasbag, was in the news again. What a friggin' surprise. He was arrested last night at a posh Manhattan hotel after allegedly throwing a phone at a defenseless concierge. After spending most of the night at a trendy NYC watering hole, Crowe returned to the Hotel (4:10am EST)and attempted to call the Land Down Under. Unsuccessful, he turned belligerent, his disjointed justification for the throwing of the phone. ("Ooh, So, sorry, mate…but I got no telee…")
After a call to 911 by concerned Hotel employees, the Crowster was arrested, booked, fingerprinted and sent to spend the rest of the night where he slept on the floor of a NYC holding cell, accommodations justly befitting an extremely talented dingdong such as Crowe. It was reported that Crowe was concerned about how the altercation would affect his VISA and ability to work in the United States. Should Crowe be allowed to remain in the US and wreak havoc on the general public anytime he sees fit? Hmm…that's a tough one. I say, yes, as long as the concierge with the bloody, lacerated face gets to insert said phone directly up Mr. Crowe's unlubricated Aussie keester. (AND THE WHOLE NASTY PROCEDURE GETS AIRED ON MTV's REAL WORLD!) Go ahead, Russter, you can make that call now, the lines are soooo open. Maybe the Russter does have a Beautiful Mind, but in my book he'll always be a total nitwit. But you wanna know the best part? It was all caught on surveillance video…Oh, I can't wait to see it. It may just be Crowe's best acting job yet.