Freud would have loved this guy

I realize Jackson has done some nice things for kids with cancer and whatnot, but you gotta admit, this guy is one weird character.

It was the late seventies (August 8, 1979, to be exact) when Michael Jackson released “Off the Wall”, a landmark album that was produced by Quincy Jones and featured some great musicians and several well-written No.1 songs. I remember the album cover with a picture of a smartly tuxedoed Jacko standing with his back against a brick wall. These days his position has shifted a bit as we find him actually facing that same brick wall. I guess that’s life; one day you’re a star, the next, BANG! you’re slapped with a search warrant and subpoena by the LAPD and charged with sexual misconduct. The always reliable media machine along with an all too inquiring public wants to know, just what the hell happened to Jacko? He used to be so, well, cute…

The world has had just about enough of the eternal trial.
Does anyone really care about this guy? Alright, the moonwalk was pretty cool.
Who knows, we may see some Jackson-style products hit the shelves soon. Neverland Ranch dressing? Cracker Jacko’s? How about an updated version of the already famous Mr. Potato Head featuring Michael’s little old nappy head that we all remember so well? I think SNL has already exploited that one.
I just want to hurl chunks when I read about the inappropriate touching, the steamy showers, the explicit masturbatory dialogue, and the copious cups of liberating Jesus wine. Let’s not forget those crazy pillow fights too.
Pillow fights? Ooh, let me get into my furry jammies with the choo-choo trains on ‘em. Whether he’s guilty or not is beside the point. The guy is a multimillion dollar freak show and should never even be allowed to baby sit much less procreate.
He’s been in and out of the news so much lately that I’m sure by now he must own some CNN stock. (and I hear it’s doing quite well)
I’m somewhat shocked when I see the news footage of Jackson stepping out of his limousine daily, before entering the courthouse (are vampires supposed to be out during the day?). His compromised gait allows for the cameras to focus on his almost wax-like complexion. Good God, go get some sun, dude, you’re way too white. You’d think with his kind of money he could spruce himself up a bit, ya know? Let’s just call a spade a spade and book Mikey on the next NASA flight outta here. They say there’s a place for everyone. Unfortunately for Jacko, it ain’t on this planet.

© michaelm 2005


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