I’m going to be out of here for a little bit.
Lots of stuff going on folks.
A few opportunities that I can’t pass up will inevitably keep me far away from the comfort of Smoke and Mirrors.
I do promise to return.
Just not sure when . . .
(I left you with a nice pic though, didn’t I?)
~m
The Emergency Medical Kit
The Emergency Medical Kit was a Christmas present for my wife years ago when our little girl was just a newborn. Money was very scarce and everything we had went to making our daughters first Christmas something memorable, so an expensive present was out of the question – but I still wanted her to have something special to know how much I cared.
While sitting around wondering what the hell I was going to do, I became fixated on my wife’s prenatal vitamins. From there I wondered what kind of vitamins I could give her that would be fun and interesting. Thankfully, the vitamins became candy, and the vitamin bottle became a set of children’s plastic cups with a straw opening on the lid.
I made the medicines out of discussions we have had over the course of our marriage about what we liked most about each other and things we would like to do together. The names were the fun part, as I was able to call on my Sniglets expertise to try and create something that my warped sense of humor thought was funny.
After making the cups of candy “official” by placing the label on each of them, I decorated a shoe box into a poor mans First Aid Kid and wrapped the whole thing up in wrapping paper. It took awhile for the wife to realize just what the gift was or meant, but needless to say, the woman started popping “pills” and I became a pretty busy man for the next week or two.
1. ARGUCESE 30mg
Take 1 tablet to end argument. Best used with a kiss and a hug.
This was a popular one with the wife for the simple reason that I could not have the last word. No matter how right I thought I was (which wasn’t very often), all she would have to do is whip out one of these to end the discussion. I used Starburst here as they are big enough to use up quickly if you have an argumentative other half.
2. FUZZITIN 75mg
Take 1 tablet to get that warm fuzzy feeling that comes from a big hug.
Simple yet effective, there just are not a lot of things in this world that can do so much like a big hug. These can be taken at any time and continuously to get the desired effect. If the hugger is good at this task, these could lead to further medication, such as BISCRUBIDOL. I used Gummy Bears for this and seemed to constantly have my arms around the wife. This is not a bad thing.
3. FULMONTISOL 2500mg
Take 1 tablet to receive a complete strip tease show performed by your man.
Taken directly from the movie “The Full Monty”, this may very well be the performance of your life. The only requirements for this medication are that she must provide the background music for your performance and there is to be no video equipment allowed. I personally tried to cram one of those giant Chewy Sweet Tarts into that little cup – I considered that my cyanide pill.
4. SWETLUVODIN 750mg
Take 1 tablet for an evening of passionate lovemaking with your mattress monkey.
A powerful drug, this bad boy usually is taken as a result of other medication like BISCRUBIDOL, RUBADINE, and if you really good, FUZZITIN. I loaded up on these, packing it full of the smallest “candy” I could find – in this case, Tic-Tacs. Hey, you didn’t think I got that nickname “mattress monkey” for my smell did you?
5. RUBADUBIUM 100mg
Take 1 tablet to receive a prepared candlelight bubble bath complete with manservant.
Want to earn some serious brownie points? Let her pop one of these puppies into her mouth and then show her your sensual side. Also works well with fluffy towels and a bottle of bubbly. A word of caution, DO NOT use those imitation electric candles around the bathtub or the both of you will need much more serious medication. To show my more animalistic side, I used Runts here to get her prepared for her bath. Read the rest of this entry »
I checked my “search stats” today and one caught my eye:
Hmmm . . .
I’d have to say neither.
What’s way worse is too much Klaus Nomi . . .
Too much Nomi will eventually fry your brain.
It’s Charlie Chaplin meets Gary Numan
And then some . . .
Yoiks. (or Yolks)
Happy Easter, folks.
No happy and snappy eggs for you. Sorry.
Hopefully, I’ll see you all back here next week.
peace, out . . .
~m
Tomorrow morning I’m going to pick up a gift; a wonderful gift.
A while back I wrote something called “the Frozen Man” and I had no idea it would evoke the kind of response that it did.
I received numerous emails regarding its origin and inspiration and to be honest, it took me by surprise.
I’m not used to that kind of attention.
One email was from my dear friend Yvonne.
She is an incredibly creative spirit and does some incredible calligraphy and she asked if she could create a piece of art using “the Frozen Man” as the centerpiece.
I was thrilled and gave her my blessing knowing my words were in very capable hands.
When I checked my Gmail this morning I opened an email from her saying the piece was done. How cool is that?
To say I’m moved is a severe understatement.
Seeing an artistic impression of my work in this light has touched my very soul.
I called Yvonne after seeing it and told her I thought it was beautiful.
Being the humble soul that she is, she thanked me and said I was far too kind and that I was making much more out of it than I needed to.
I had to disagree. In a major way.
Check out the actual piece below.
If only my father could appreciate it.
Yvonne, a sincere thank you from my heart to yours . . .
~m
*ps – Yvonne does calligraphy professionally.
I already know of one other piece of writing that I’d love to see done.
Maybe you have something as well.
Visit www.yvonneelizabeth.com for more info
or email handlettering@yahoo.com
I felt a need to lighten things up a bit here with something not so downtrodden.
I’m a huge fan of Christopher Walken and saw this video on Rain’s blog.
I just had to share it with you folks.
While I’m at it I’d like to offer all bloggers this very important card:
Yes, folks, it’s the Blogger Emergency ID card.
Print it out and use it.
It may come in handy someday all depending on your actual date of departure from parts unknown.
Kudos to the ingenious Moonbeam, a brilliant blogger (and a woman that has already printed out numerous copies of this ID card for her immediate family, butcher, baker and candlestick maker)
Have a bitchin’ weekend, folks.
Here in the Northeast we’re preparing for a deluge of Noah’s Ark proportions . . .
Now where the hell are the 4m Salties?
later gators,
~m
I’m “lighting” a candle on the blog tonight for a dear friend that’s currently traveling through the sometimes bumpy and complex labyrinth of life.
My wife and I are praying for her to get through this nasty thing.
I understand all too well the power of prayer. So . . .
I’m asking for a few words whispered to the stars, maybe a candle lit in your home tonight in her memory.
My hope is that in several days things will look just a bit brighter.
Take a minute and do me that small favor, okay?
She will appreciate the prayers more than you’ll ever know.
I thank you all sincerely, in advance
~m
Had to put up a quick post for several reasons.
#1, all you folks that commented totally rock. Period.
You’ve made me smile with your funny comments and I just wanted to say thank you so much.
#2, my dear friend and “true North” writing critic, Annie, put up this post.
Tanks, Gator.
#3, an unexpected phone call from Downunder changed my birthday from special to absolutely incredible. I actually talked to Moe from the Nook.
I’m still so blown away by her phone call tonight that I’m having a difficult time describing how amazing it has made my night.
And to top it off, I’m expecting a call from Mark (Moe’s better half) Saturday night.
Can’t wait.
And he loves the Red Sox. 
Moe totally rocked my world tonight (more that she usually does).
Maureen, you have no idea how much your call meant to me tonight. Huge.
I will remember this birthday for a long time (as will Pamela and the accomplice Hannah)
(And you will stay here when you come up. We have a small house but we’ll figure something out.)
My sincere thanks to everyone for making this birthday one to truly remember.
~m
I received the above award from my dear friend and colleague, Maureen (aka, Amum, Nanny, and Moe).
This February will mark the beginning of my fourth year of blogging and that someone describes Smoke and Mirrors as “awesome” leaves me a slight bit humbled.
I originally started blogging in an attempt to sort out the many difficulties I’d been facing regarding two parents caught in the grips of an insidious disease.
My hope was that my writing would help someone traveling the same strange road.
Though the scope here has changed somewhat, my intentions are still the same.
I want my writing to make a difference in the lives of people that read it.
Judging from the many comments I’ve received, I think it’s working.
Thank you Maureen for a most wonderful award.
You are a thoughtful and gentle soul.
If you’re wondering about the post title, click on my award.
My best to all in the coming year.
Stick around. I’m just getting warmed up . . .
~m
I received the above award from my dear friend and colleague, Maureen (aka, Amum, Nanny, and Moe).
This February will mark the beginning of my fourth year of blogging and that someone describes Smoke and Mirrors as “awesome” leaves me a slight bit humbled.
I originally started blogging in an attempt to sort out the many difficulties I’d been facing regarding two parents caught in the grips of an insidious disease.
My hope was that my writing would help someone traveling the same strange road.
Though the scope here has changed somewhat, my intentions are still the same.
I want my writing to make a difference in the lives of people that read it.
Judging from the many comments I’ve received, I think it’s working.
Thank you Maureen for a most wonderful award.
You are a thoughtful and gentle soul.
If you’re wondering about the post title, click on my award.
My best to all in the coming year.
Stick around. I’m just getting warmed up . . .
~m
I’m sitting here on Christmas night with not much of anything to blog about but I’ve had a wonderful Christmas and I can’t help but wonder why.
I’m thinking it’s because I am loved.
The girls and Pamela are watching “Hairspray” and laughing and all things considered, my life is good.
I am the richest man in town at this moment.
I thank all of you dearly for leaving such wonderful comments.
Tomorrow is a very special day.
21 years ago tonight, I was driving my lovely and very pregnant wife to the hospital for the birth of our first little girl.
Sarah is 21 tomorrow.
Good God, time flies . . .
Please leave a warm wish or some sage advice for her.
Merry Christmas everybody!
And yes, it’s snowing on my blog tonight.
How apropos is that?
peace,
~m
Boston Red Sox Boston Celtics
