Just Evyl and me

Evyl and I have decided to offer our services to all the gentlemen types currently surfing the web looking for something interesting to read, watch or do.
We’ve started something of a manblog to be sure but it has so much more to offer than that.
At Evyl and Smoke there will be no syrupy sweet posts, no sentimentality and a no holds barred policy; a very different place than here at Smoke and Mirrors.
Oh, and absolutely ‘no bullshit’.
This is a place where I can let my hair down
(funny, so to speak, even though we’re two guys with cueball noggins)
Women, cigars, sports, beer, booze, good eats, guy gripes and chili recipes will rule the roost.
Both of us aren’t quite sure where this thing will go but it’s been a blast so far and we’ve decided to finally go public with it.
We’ll leave it up to you as far as linking to us.
We are, first and foremost, gentlemen.
BTW- We decided on an anonymous system in terms of posting and commenting thinking it might offer a bit of devious fun because you’ll never really know who is who.
I’m honored beyond belief to team up with the likes of Evyl.
He pulls no punches yet you always know where you stand.
For now, I’ll just welcome you to our new abode: Evyl and Smoke
Stop by and at least say hi.
And yes, it’s most definitely a guy thing.
And that’s alright by me . . .

~m

 

The Nasty Tat

Sending this one out with a special dedication to my sister. :0)
(just back from Jamaica)
Out straight this past weekend folks with work and a short trip to Urgent Care
to take care of my left thumb which went over to the dark side (literally)
I’ll try to catch up on your comments sometime this evening.
peace, out

~m

 

Pearls of Wisdom

I love Dave Barry.
This is a list of 14 things that took him 50 years to learn.
Hysterical.

~m

• Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

• If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”

• There is a very fine line between hobby and “mental illness.”

• People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

• You should not confuse your career with your life.

• Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

• Never lick a steak knife.

• The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

• You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

• You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

• There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

• The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

• A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

• Your friends love you anyway.

ps.
thanks to all you folks that have checked out “Cats that look like Hitler“
You’re making my blog stats go crazy! I love that!

 

Toasted

“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of the cat and drop it?”

~(from the deep and somewhat whacked out mind of)
Steven Wright

 

A Fiver from Mr. Crippens

The following is a meme I saw at Alabaster Crippens blog and thought it looked like fun and found it oddly creative.
It’s all about what someone wants to know about you.
It’s revealing and quite personal and the charming Mr. Crippens has graciously come up with five fascinating questions.
For those of you that visit me on a regular basis you may think you know how I’ll answer…then again, maybe not.
Be sure to visit ‘Alabaster Crippens Doesn’t Know What’s Going On’ for one hell of a ride.
Now onto the questions. . .

1. When were the last time you cried and the last time you laughed? (I mean really cried and really laughed…a proper belly laugh)

The last time I really cried was the day of my mother’s funeral.
Emotionally, I was fine at the wake and hell; I gigged the night she died.
Knowing her as I did she would have wanted the show to go on.
I learned of her passing on the way to my gig. Read ‘Angel’.
I was doing alright at the church until afterwards when we walked outside into the bright July sunshine.
That’s when I heard ‘Danny Boy’ being played by bagpipes.
That lonely and haunting song on such a day opened up the faucets for me.
I cried for myself, a father who was too far gone mentally to even attend, my wife and daughters for all they’d been through and witnessed.
But most of all I cried for a special woman that didn’t deserve the biological fate that consumed her heart and soul before leaving behind a duplicate husk for us to remember her by.

I was watching TV several weeks ago when I clicked on a stand-up comedian named
Jim Gaffigan.
Usually, I watch for a few minutes before moving on to the Food Network hoping Giada DiLaurentis is doing something creative like jello wrestling with kittens.
But Gaffigan floored me and delivered multiple belly laughs so I continued to watch.
The routine was called “Beyond the Pale” and had me almost crying. (my wife, too)
After the show was over I figured I’d check ITunes to see if they had anything by this guy. Turns out they had the audio for ‘Pale’, the show I’d just watched.
I think I pulled a groin muscle leaping up to get out my credit card.

2. What do you value most in your marriage?

This is difficult simply because there are a vast number of appropriate answers that fit.
If I had to choose one thing it would be the fact that we are each other’s best friend.
We embrace the notion of compromise in our marriage, the day to day ‘give and take’ that any successful marriage must have in order to survive.
On my wife’s behalf I will say that over the years she’s had more to contend with regarding my life. I’m a creative being which makes me moody and a general pain in the ass sometimes, but every time I need her, I turn around and she’s there.
I’ve come to believe that’s what friends do.

3. Your house is on fire…you’re the only one inside…what do you grab before you run outside?

I’m thinking this is the easiest of all the questions. I’d take our three cats: Sherlock, Opus and Guinness. If I had no cats the only thing that comes to mind are a set of rosary beads that once belonged to my grandfather (Mom’s side). They’re archaic but stunning.

4. Would you rather be deaf or blind?

I’ll take ‘blind’ for 1000, Mr. Crippens.
Seriously, if I were deaf this is a partial list of sounds I would never have the chance to hear:
* my wife’s voice
* my daughter’s laughing
* the words “I love you”
* music
* thunder
* the ocean
* the wind
* the sound of rain
* a cat’s purr
* Michael McDonald’s voice
* birds
And on and on and on, ad nauseum
I don’t think I’d be a very happy camper, do you?

5. How would you like to be remembered?

There are the obvious things; a good husband, a fair and loving Dad, a dear friend that was always willing to listen.
I want people to smile at my wake and say, remember when Michael did this or Michael did that…
I would want people to feel their lives were changed (for the better) in some small way because of me.
I hope people will smile if they see a bumper sticker on my casket that reads:
‘Promoted to Subterranean Truffle Inspector’
Hopefully, they’ll laugh and say, “Man, he was nuts.”

~m (atilde)

ps. {AC, the post pic is especially for you. . . grinning}

 

 

Tuesdays with Mitch

 

“On a traffic light yellow means yield, and green means go.
On a banana, it’s just the opposite, yellow means go ahead, green means stop, and red means, where’d you get that banana?”
~Mitch Hedberg